Dressing rules

Audrey can be extremely difficult to dress sometimes. She really has an idea of what she does and does not like. Alexis never cared what she wore as long as it was comfortable and I put it on her. Oh how I long for having those kinds of days with Audrey. Alas, it will never be. However, Audrey always notices when I wear ANYTHING new. Once I got a haircut and she was the only one who noticed. She is delighted when I do anything different like wear earrings or put my hair in a ponytail (she absolutely loves this and touches my ponytail ALL day long). So I do appreciate this part of her unique opinions on clothes. I imagine if Audrey could give me some rules on dressing her they would go something like this:

1. No pink. It doesn't matter if the sweater is white with a few stripes of pink. The pink still disgusts me.
2. Anything blue is better than pink. Except for my blue coat because it makes me look like a big, fat mushroom.
3. Flower patterns are generally not accepted in any way, shape, or form.
4. Dresses that require shirts underneath them are NOT preferred.
5. Anything that glitters is fantastic.
6. Step shoes (shoes with heels) for church are definitely preferred.
7. The blue hat is the best hat. How many times do I need to tell you this?
8. I want to button and zip my sweaters and coats all by myself. Unless I can't do it and it gets frustrating. Then you should help right away.
9. I don't stand still when you help me get dressed. Ever. It's a lot more fun when I wiggle my body and dance around. Don't you think so, Mom?
10. Don't laugh at me in my underwear.
11. I know I have 10 dresses in my closet but one has puffy sleeves, one has a bow I don't like, one has a floral print, three are ugly, one has stripes, one isn't fancy enough, and one doesn't fit right. That leaves me with only my black Christmas dress. I will wear that one every Sunday.
12. I don't want you to look at me when you're getting me dressed. I get embarrassed.