That kind of day

I smell like pancakes. Or, more accurately, my back smells like pancakes. At least that is what Audrey said to me this morning when we woke up. Hmmm. How could I possibly turn this into something positive? Well, if I smell like pancakes then maybe people will think I am an awesome baker. "Wow, she's such a great homemaker," they will say. "She bakes pancakes for her kids every morning." Yeah...I took a shower and put on perfume today.

I'm trying to make dinner and Alexis becomes frustrated with her division homework. I can tell she is breaking down because our conversation goes like this:

A: I really need your help! I can't add or multiply right now. I just need you to tell me the answer.

Me: Really? Wow. I can't believe they let you stay in fourth grade.

A: Well, it's just really hard!

Me: Oh, it's hard? Why didn't you just say that before? If it's hard I'll just give you all the answers!

A: (giggles) I mean it's easy!

Me: Oh good. Then you should already know the answers.

We banter like this for a little bit and I'm kind of proud of myself for keeping the tone light and distracting Alexis a little bit. After a minute or so she starts to cry.

Me: Okay, Alexis. You need a break. Go get your other homework and take a break from division.

A: No! No! I'm fine. I'm calming down.

Me: Really? Then why are you crying?

A: I'm not crying!

Me: Oh? I guess you're just spitting from your eyes then. That is something really remarkable. We should Daddy when he gets home. He'll be so proud.

Alexis starts laughing and I congratulate myself again on using some humor to deflect a major breakdown. Alas, it does not last and she just keeps complaining.

Me: Okay Alexis I have a test for you. Let's see if you can listen and obey. Please go get your map homework.

A: No, I just have four more problems. Please, give me another chance. I'm fine. I'm fine. (She's saying all of this while crying and laying prostrate on the counter).

Me: Okay, you just failed the test.

Alexis keeps arguing that she is fine. I think I asked her three times to get her map homework and she kept stalling. Finally, out of patience, I tell her now she needs to go sit on her bed. Quickly she changes tactics.

A: No, I just need to tell you something.

Me: Please go sit on your bed.

A: No, I just need to tell you something. I'll forget, I'll forget!

I ask her a third time to go to her room and she keeps up the arguing, all the while NOT GOING TO HER ROOM. I calmly (on the outside anyway) walk her to her room and shut the door. AHHHHHHHH!

I continue to make hot dogs and mac n cheese. Yeah, it's that kind of day. As I am opening the packet of cheese it flies out of my hand, across the counter, and onto the floor. Half the cheese is gone and as I scream out in frustration Audrey comes running into the kitchen. She says, "Oh!" and kindly refrains from laughing in my face. She runs to the closet, grabs the broom and starts to sweep it up. Then she plugs the vacuum in and cleans it all up for me. I know I shouldn't be cynical about this and I am grateful for her help but it's always amusing to me that Audrey knows just when to kick in her angel behavior. :) She's no dummy! I do appreciate that she senses my mounting frustration and tries to help though.

At dinner Audrey told me that she wants to grow her out so long that she can use it as a scarf. Then her neck would never be cold. Uh huh.

It's been that kind of day.