A lovely woman that I know has passed away. I wasn't a really close friend. We had limited contact the last three to four years. And yet I feel as if I should write something about her. I don't even know if I can properly explain my feelings about this. I don't think anything I write will be enough but I am compelled to write something.
Catie was only 31 years old. She had a husband and three kids, the oldest of which is only six years old. I met Catie at Stanford University. Our husbands were pursuing graduate degrees. Catie and I had some play dates with our kids, helped babysit each other's kids, and saw each other at church activities. When I moved to Wisconsin and she to North Carolina we didn't really keep in contact. We read each other's blogs and and left comments. I watched from afar and heard about her fight with cancer for the last three years. Ben has remained close with Catie's husband Steve through playing games on the XBox at least once a month.
I feel sad knowing that she is gone. I feel devastated for Steve and the kids. Steve wrote a beautiful eulogy and made the most beautiful slideshow of his years with Catie. I cried through most of both. I remember Catie always smiling and happy. She had a really beautiful smile. That's what I really remember.
I find myself struggling to understand why people have to go through this kind of pain. I know we are here to be tested. I know Catie's family will see her again. I believe that their family is eternal. But that doesn't take away the pain and grief I know they are feeling and will feel for a long time.
This last week I have had many moments where I have been hit with feelings of sadness but also of gratitude that I have this time with my kids. It seems unfair that Catie will miss those moments. And yet I have felt inspired by her example to be a better person. I was really touched to read in Steve's eulogy how Catie doubled her efforts in reading her scriptures and praying. Also that she savored every minute she had with her family.
How much do I take for granted? How complacent have I become? I have felt a bit of a wake up call from Catie. What an amazing example she gave me. I hope that I can remember this feeling. I know Catie will be remembered always. I will remember her.
3 comments:
You just made me cry. I don't know her at all. But it reminded me of my Mom who died when she was only 35 and had 6 girls. I will pray for her family. It breaks my heart.
this is a lovely tribute to a friend, em. my heart goes out to her family!
Such a small world... I don't know Catie either, but there was a family who lived here- who is now in Utah- who went to BYU with her. I know this from the blog world.
Such a sad story, but you are right- they will have her again for eternity!
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